Returning to Teaching: Why I Left the Classroom, and Why I Decided to Go Back

In May of 2022, I packed up the last bit of my things in a wagon and closed the door to my classroom.  I was leaving the classroom, and if you had asked me back in 2022, I would proudly say that it was for good.  I was so convinced that I was never returning to the classroom that I even gave away almost everything I had accumulated over 12 years of teaching to other teachers because I was “never going back.”  Life has a funny way of reminding you that you should never say never.

Leaving the classroom never felt like a hard decision.  When I look back at May of 2022, it seemed like the best decision for my career. It was grounded in a decision for career advancement. 

Teaching 1st Grade

Are you new to teaching 1st grade? Or maybe you have taught for years and are looking for new ideas? No matter where you are in your teaching journey, I would love to share tips, resources, and lesson ideas with you.

Sign up for our newsletter, The Bear Necessities, and get weekly updates from Bear and Bug Learning.  You’ll also have access to our FREE 1st Grade Skills bundle, which includes 2 skills checklists and over 20 pages of 1st grade skills practice for reading and math!

Sign Up Here and Get our Free 1st Grade Skills Pack

Leaving the Classroom: My Journey on a New Path to Personal Growth

Leaving the classroom never felt like a hard decision.  When I look back at May of 2022, it seemed like the best decision for my career. It was grounded in a decision for career advancement, a better work/life balance with two kids at home, and a better opportunity to support my husband, who was advancing in his football coaching career.  

When I left the classroom, I didn’t leave education. I was moving into a mixed role that included serving as my building’s literacy specialist and our Multi Tiered System of Support (MTSS) coordinator. It was a role that had come together over the last year, and it felt almost meant to be when I was finally offered the job.

For the 2021-2022 school year, I moved to a brand new school—like we were opening the building brand new. It was a once-in-a-lifetime, dream opportunity. Not many people in my district can say they opened a brand new school—it was the first new school we had built in 60 years! I had moved from 1st grade to 2nd grade to open this new building. I enjoyed teaching 2nd grade, but I LOVE teaching 1st grade. That is where my heart is deeply rooted.

I imagine the first year opening any building is wild—we were opening a building coming off the heels of the COVID-19 pandemic. Our kids were coming from three different smaller schools that had closed. My second graders didn’t get to complete their kindergarten year, and then many did remote learning for first grade. This was their first time back in the classroom for in-person learning. It was WILD.

As we worked through the challenges of opening a building, we quickly realized how many school buildings have systems and supports in place that just make a school run on autopilot. We lacked systems and routines for everything, and we were literally establishing them and refining them through trial and error. Everything from dismissal paths, moving kids through the building for lunch, to establishing systems to refer kids for additional support and testing—everything needed to be established.

By November of that first year, it was clear that we desperately needed and lacked a cohesive system to support students who were not responding to Tier 1 instruction.  This is an important system in any school, but it was increasingly important coming off the COVID-19 pandemic as we navigated unfinished learning, missed opportunities for early interventions, and non-traditional learning experiences.  

I had previously worked at an incredibly diverse school with a robust MTSS system, so I drafted a proposal for a split position—a half-time literacy specialist to support our K-2 teachers with early intervention and an MTSS coordinator who would build, manage, and onboard our staff with a robust MTSS system.  By February of 2022, my principal had offered me this exact position for the upcoming school year.  

I was beyond excited—how many people get to create their own job in education? Let alone a job that they designed, which included all of the things they were passionate about. I would get to focus solely on teaching reading, which was one of the things I deeply loved about teaching 1st grade. I would get to support teacher growth, a professional goal I had been moving towards for the last few years. I would also get to design and build an MTSS structure in our building that would support students and help struggling students get the exact support they needed—something else I was deeply passionate about. It was the perfect fit!

In May of 2022, I packed up my classroom, shut the door, and never looked back (or so I thought).

Understanding Teacher Burnout: Am I Experiencing Burnout?

I spent 3 years in my dual role as a literacy specialist and MTSS coordinator.  During that time, I mostly enjoyed my job. I loved creating something that benefited my entire building.  I felt incredibly knowledgeable in primary literacy instruction. My student achievement data was amazing, and my kids were growing.  I was successful at identifying student needs and closing the achievement gap.  Even with these measures of “success,” it still felt like something was missing, and I was not joyful in my job. 

By October of 2024, my overall physical health and mental health were slowly slipping. I was experiencing burnout that I had never experienced in the classroom.  It was impacting my ability to be a good wife and mom to my kids, my desire to go to work, and my time outside of the classroom.  I was struggling. 

I don’t think I was ready to call it burnout. When I imagined teacher burnout, when I had seen friends and co-workers struggling with teacher burnout, it was because they were overworked, they didn’t have support, and they didn’t have the tools needed to do their job.  Oftentimes, I would hear stories about hard students, hard behavior situations, challenging parents, lack of discipline, lack of administrative support, large class sizes, and not enough time or materials to meet exceedingly rigorous standards.  That didn’t feel like this situation, and I felt selfish as a specialist complaining about burnout. I didn’t have large class sizes; I ran small groups. I had resources, and my students were meeting their goals. I kept telling myself it couldn’t possibly be burnout. 

A few months later, I was ready to outright quit.  I was not happy, and I didn’t want to go to work.  I had never felt so passionless about teaching in 15 years.  My husband was fully supportive but also cautioned against me outright quitting before I could dive into what was really going on and figure out the root cause—was it really teaching, or was it circumstantial?

Why I Became a Teacher and Why a Specialist Job Wasn’t For Me

I have always been an incredibly reflective person.  As I was trying to navigate what

was going on and how I ended up wanting to quit the only career I had ever wanted to do, I went back to the beginning.  I pulled out my teaching portfolio that I made in my final year in college—you know, the one where you write out your teaching philosophy and capture all the wonderful things you did during student teaching. 

On the first page of my teaching portfolio was my teaching philosophy, a narrative of all the things I believe in as a teacher that captures who I am as an educator.  I sat on the floor of our closet one afternoon and cried as I read each statement, realizing I was never meant to leave the classroom—so much of my identity is rooted in being a classroom teacher, and I wasn’t getting this same fulfillment as a specialist.  It was finally clear to me: it was burnout… burnout from years spent in a role that didn’t provide opportunities that really filled my heart.

Classroom Community

One of the things that I deeply missed was the community that I built with my students and their families.  When I was in the classroom, I deeply believed in the importance of our classroom community—it has always been our classroom, a space we share, learn together in, and support each other.  I spent a significant amount of time building a community where we function as a classroom family, and as a result, my connection with students and their families is powerful and long-lasting. 

In the world of intervention, it felt different.  I would describe my role as a place of limbo or a bridge for students.  Many of the students who were in intervention had specific learning gaps.  When I could fill those gaps in a 6-week cycle, it would provide them with the missing learning they needed.  Once they had that strong foundation, they could soar and would often leave intervention.  On the other hand, I would have students who wouldn’t respond to a 6-week intervention cycle.  We would adjust once or twice, but if they still weren’t responding, then they likely would need support from our special education team. It was rare that I would keep the same students for multiple cycles of intervention or over the course of multiple school years. I never had the community that I had when I was in the classroom. 

Partnership and Collaboration

I quickly learned that being a specialist is a lonely job, and I am a social person.  I value collaborating with teammates and partnering with parents, and I didn’t think I would really be giving that up when I moved into a specialist position. But I actually did.

I still had opportunities to collaborate with teachers in my specialist role, but it never felt like it was in a deep, curriculum-planning, meaningful way.  It was often a collaboration about switching students in and out of groups or moving a student through MTSS and needing documentation.

Partnership with parents felt the same way—it was still there, but it didn’t feel deep and meaningful.  Parents might occasionally ask how I could help support their students' reading growth, but oftentimes they would go to the classroom teacher first.

Teaching First Grade Curriculum

One of the reasons that I love teaching first grade is because I LOVE the curriculum—and I don’t just mean the reading curriculum.  I love everything about teaching first grade: math skills, reading skills, social studies, science units, building community… I love it all.  I love themes, celebrations; I love it all.

I thought I would really enjoy teaching reading all day, every day. I loved teaching reading in 1st grade. The truth is, I didn’t love it.

I love the diversity of a daily classroom schedule.  I love seeing kids succeed in all content areas.  I love planning for themed units, integrating content areas together. I really miss the natural differentiation that happens in the classroom.  I miss the ability to have a variety of highly engaging activities and centers for students to work in. I miss teaching more than reading all day.

In my school district and at my school, intervention is a 30-minute block of very prescribed instruction delivered in an Orton-Gillingham structured lesson.  I fully believe in this approach, and it is appropriate for students who need very targeted, very specific instruction. It is an approach I would use in the classroom in small group instruction.  That is the approach I used all day, with 8-10 different groups of kids. The skills might have been different, but the delivery was the same, and it didn’t fulfill me.

Classroom Routines

I also really missed the small things about a classroom, the classroom routines and procedures. I missed classroom jobs and connecting them to our community helpers unit. I missed morning meetings and daily calendar time to build those essential skills needed in first grade. I missed my line-up song. Those things seemed so small when I left the classroom, but I realized once I wasn’t doing them each day, they were part of who I was as a teacher.

Of course, there are routines in intervention, but when you only have groups for 30 minutes, the routines are minimal.

The Spark of Learning

One of the biggest things that I missed from the classroom was the spark of learning that would happen multiple times a day. I would get so excited when students became passionate about a topic, learned something new, solved a problem… had those light bulb moments.

Don’t get me wrong, those light bulb moments do happen in intervention, and they are incredibly rewarding when they do happen because kids typically have to work so hard for them, but I missed the regularity. I missed the excitement for learning—students are not as excited when they know what you are asking them to do is going to be REALLY hard.

Going Back to Teaching in the Classroom

By hiring season, our family decided that I was going to search for a job that would put me back in the classroom. The goal was to hopefully find a job teaching 1st grade because that is my passion and love.  Over Spring Break, I was offered a job teaching 1st grade at the school my own children attend and where my husband teaches and coaches football.  It is the perfect situation for our family.

I do want to be incredibly clear—I do not think that being an interventionist or a specialist is a “bad job.” It is an incredibly important job, and it also just isn’t the job that is a good fit for me. My gifts as a teacher and my personality allow me to thrive in the classroom setting, and I am happiest in the classroom.

Once I accepted my classroom position, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was excited about the future. I was eager to plan for my new classroom and for my next group of firsties. I knew I had made the right decision.

Teaching 1st Grade

I love teaching 1st grade, and I love collaborating with other 1st grade teachers! I redesigned this blog to share all things 1st grade, from my classroom to yours. If you are looking for great 1st grade ideas, check out some of our other blog posts.

You can also sign up for our weekly newsletter, The Bear Necessities.  You’ll get weekly tips, lesson ideas, and resources right to your email.  You’ll also get our FREE 1st Grade checklist and skills bundle for both math and reading when you sign up!

This colorful educational resource features a first-grade skills checklist covering foundational math and reading skills, alongside engaging activities for learning to tell time and recognizing vowel sounds.

Sign Up Here and Get our Free 1st Grade Skills Pack

Finding Joy in Teaching

Never in a million years would I have ever predicted that I would have gone through this journey. After all, this was a job I had dreamed about and created; it

should have been perfect.  In so many ways, it was wonderful—it pushed me and challenged me in so many ways, it allowed me to dive into a content area I was deeply passionate about, and it was a great position while my kids finished their primary years and my husband really dove into his career as a football coach.

It also helped me realign with my passion for teaching.  It helped me rediscover my reasons for being a teacher and rediscover my why (I know that is so cliché, but sometimes we need that why).  It helped humble me—I will be returning to the classroom with a renewed sense of joy and humility.  I am excited.

If you find yourself where I was, questioning everything, burned out, and ready to quit—I see you.  It is hard to live in that place. It is hard to do this job okay, let alone well, when you are beyond burnout.  My hope for you is that you too can deeply reflect, reground in the places and routines, and find a space and place where you can thrive. 💗